I like balloons

Its an amusing thing about Liverpool fans that they think a single win over United will result in their sudden 'rising from the ashes'; their comeback that will result in the title they've been talking about for..well.. about two decades. Theyll still be gloating over their win even when we're carrying the trophy and smacking them on the head with it. They've returned to losing ways this weekend and balance has been restored in the world, but you wont hear me going on and on about how Liverpool lost to Fulham.

Been making an overdue comeback at the gym recently. When i encountered the fat guy i knew at the counter he laughed at how i had shrunk and wasn't as fit as i used to be. You know you've got to a low point when an overweight man starts criticizing your fitness levels. I wanted to remind him that at least i had an unobscured view of my feet when i looked down, but then i remembered this was the same fat dude who two days earlier broke his glasses after sitting on them and decided justice had been served in advance.

Contrary to popular belief going gymming isn't all about the vanity. Its actually a great way to relieve stress. Not to mention the the ability to punch someone hard in the face could come in handy at times. Like when people come into the gym and irritate the shit out of anyone in contact with them. Over the years ive encountered all sorts of oddities. My first real injury was when this moron attempted to do bicep curls and swung so hard the dumbbell flew from his hand. And landed on my knee. Needless to say this fucking HURTS. But i was almost annoyed that i couldn't actually be mad at the fella, he was very apologetic and polite about having caused a terrible injury. At least from what i could tell through the blinding pain...
But then there are those people who have no idea what gym ettiquette is. Like they literally don't understand what the word means. I once told a guy i was annoyed by to "Learn some ettiquette!". He thought it was a vulgarity and told me he had a gang outside.

Thankfully apart from people like that most Singaporeans are alright. I abhor xenophobia and the like, but its hard to ignore the fact that its the expats that i find the most troublesome to deal with. There was this Indian expat who grabbed my weights without permission. While i was doing an exercise.. One moment i was feeling the burn and pumping iron, the next moment my dumbbell disappeared. I restrained myself and tried to be nice. But when i approached him to ask if we could share the weights he told me no. Nothing else, just 'No'. I was not used to this kind of conversation. Its not even a conversation! I tried scolding him but as usual whenever i try to scold people ill be left frustrated and they'll be left confused.

But i take consolation in how these people are usually overweight or skinny and do the same exercises wrongly for years. Cosmic justice strikes again. Don't know why it couldn't feed a starving child instead though. The universe works in stupid ways.

Just a timely reminder: FULHAM - 3 LIVERPOOL - 1

Watched Surrogates a while back. Just want to mention that it was rubbish. The trailer looked promising; all human beings living through robotic substitutes.. a movie where fantasy has superceded reality; one in which our ideas of happiness, pleasure, and authentic experience could be examined in a way that only the genre of science fiction allows. Instead all you get is Bruce Willis running around and Ving Rhames impersonating Bob Marley.

(You might also remember Ving Rhames as that big scary dude who ended up getting raped in Pulp Fiction, one of the most disconcerting scenes ive ever seen..)

And yes that's also macho Bruce Willis next to him.

There is a plot twist but its one you don't particularly care about. Its a bit like revealing to you that i secretly added some Pepsi to that glass of Coke you're sipping. Its noteworthy perhaps, and you might just stop drinking, but you wont be smashing the glass down outraged.

Here is Torres making a mistakeAnd here is Giggs showing him what he should have done

Ive resolved to post more.. Id like to say ive been busy and i sort of have been, but i have the curious condition of conscriptivitis, where in a state of serving the nation one simultaneously has a busy yet non existent life. But as i get accustomed to things i am starting to have more and more time to write this drivel. And if you are unfortunate enough to be my friend, will be annoying you on a more regular basis.

Got a couple of interesting vids for you now. I don't know what the fuck they're doing in this vid. Is the apple a metaphor? Is that a guy or a girl? I dont know but its somehow mesmerizing..

Song's 'Independence' by The Blue Van.


This is a song i absolutely adore


And last but not least

Liverpool's goalkeeper fascinated by a balloon as the ball goes in.

That's a nice jersey

Now before we start, to really get you in the mood press play on that video below.
And try to listen to the lyrics as well, its her songwriting that makes her so special.




Now if you liked that, i like you. If you didn't like that, go watch some juvenile booty shaking in one of Pitbull's music videos you philistine. On second thought..you might actually want to check it out regardless, the shaking is captivating.

Saw the gorgeous Aimee Mann in concert the other day. Yet again no one brought a camera even though we were at the front and in a prime position to take photos. Well there was a little anti-happiness esplanade person running around stopping any photo taking though, but that fact did not console me. I would have defeated her. And i did, just with my crappy camera phone..

This is from Greenhorn Productions. Not my photo clearly. I tried to upload my own phone camera pic but they looked..barely human in it.

For two enchanting hours i was reduced to an excited little girl. Giggling at Aimee's every joke, wide-eyed and wringing my hands in nervous anticipation of the next song, screaming when it was the song i was hoping for.. It was all done in a manly way of course but its the closest ive ever come to looking like this.

(Ignore the treacherous perv behind her, defiling a perfectly good jersey)

Its not just the fandom talking though, she's exceptional live. And funny too. Some fella shouted 'I love you Aimee!' to which she replied 'Im sure i'd love you too..if i knew you..' No it was not me who shouted that, i was far too suave and simply charmed her with my eyes. There were instant sparks, words are for losers. And when she announced that she was about to play the songs 'Little Bombs' and 'Little Tornadoes'? She explained the titles were because she liked her disasters small and manageable. Oh you funny witty thing you. Suffice to say i was satisfied with the concert. The only fault was that it actually felt short even though it was a couple of hours long. When people were shouting requests she joked that if we had the time, we could be there all night. In my dreamy joyous mood i had actually believed that. I was left confused and lost even as she left the stage and the hall's lights came on. Im sure she'll be back though, we made a connection that night.

But all this happened awhile ago, recent times have been pretty dismal and are only going to get much worse for awhile. So ive recently started watching House again. What better way to deal with misery than to watch a miserable misanthrope. Its my favourite show for a reason. Dying people and a man whose genius depends on his unhappiness; what could make you feel better. Though some of the additions have been questionable. I still maintain that '13' (Im at Season 5 but i can't be bothered to remember her name) is a stupid addition and her character should die a horrible death that is befitting of her inanity. Through the seasons its House that pulls the show, managing to be as engaging as he is scathing. The closest thing i have to a role model. Well i have yet to save lives, acquire a thorough understanding of medicine or even learn the instruments he so often plays. But i do have some small capacity to be tactful and sympathetic which he seems to lack. I should probably get rid of that first.. baby steps eh?

Potterpuff

Been having a flu and fever past several days. Mostly been sleeping. And embarrasingly enough reading Harry Potter number 7. Whether it was the delerium from sickness or the curiousity from watching the movie i do not know. But i tell you what, *whisper* i kind of enjoyed it. *Softer whisper* Except the ending which sucks arse.

To its credit it was better written than the others that preceded it. You didn't really feel like strangling the protagonist half the time you were reading. Potter's grown up and it shows. His internal conflicts mirror ours yet his actions reflect a person we can admire and hope to emulate. Its a delicate balance of realism and idealism. Which is of course thrown into the chute at the end. But its a delight to read while it lasts and you almost didn't want it to end. And then it did. (Minor spoilers ahead) Like a jigsaw puzzle you just couldn't put together till at last it fits perfectly in a flash to reveal the picture of ...
Yes its a happy ending. And i will admit, i have a small bias against these sort of things. The world isn't a happy place. Most of us aren't completely contented. Sure fiction can be escapism, but its got to be subdued with a sense of honesty that links us to it. Our journey with the characters is suddenly halted by their sudden, rousing, and hastily explained success. Read on only if you've read the book or can't be bothered about minor spoilers.

Harry's attainment of the "Hallows" or his 'conquering' of death had been something the climax heavily vested into. But the finality and significance of death seems rather banal if its revealed we all get to live on in some kind of train station heaven or equivalent. It rather belittles the victory that had been coming for seven tomes. Plot holes suddenly had to be plugged in the span of a chapter and the whole tone of the book changes as you sense the author doing it. The wholesome and somewhat contrived ending seemed to bend the patient buildup to its will. Towards the final chapter its like J.K just got abit tired. And found out about a word called
'rent' (2) n.
1. An opening made by rending; a rip.
If you can be bothered, or are a big enough Potter fan to be offended, just count the number of times she uses it towards the end. The air rented with screams. Rented with laughter. Rented with miscellaneous magical bolts. Rent a wider vocabulary Rowling. I wanted to rent the pages apart.

Potter is an immensely likeable fella though. All the way till he becomes some sort of martyr/God/Neo. He must have been lecturing Voldemort about an hour as they circled each other, wands pointed. The buildup slowly wasting away as you realized Potter armed with knowledge from a helpful ghost (he just had to come back didn't he) would bring about Voldemort's inevitable doom.

Dont get me wrong, happy endings can be alright. I started having a warm fuzzy feeling towards the end. But then that fuzzy feeling stuffed my insides and exploded with the force of a hundred carebear love rays. The epilogue took the cake. Rowling makes sure her fans arent left longing for more by stuffing them with enough happy visions of all her characters to make them beg her to stop. They all get married and have kids. And their kids recycle the names of other beloved characters. Fine, its a wonderfully blossomy gesture and all, but did their personalities have to be recycled too? Id cringe if that part materialized on the big screen.. I thought the 6th movie installment was actually pretty decent. If the last one sucks, i called it. But no matter, we're all still going to watch it anyway. And that's some skillfull hocus pocus right there.

It tastes like droppings.

Been an entirely uninspiring week. Daily doses of tiny fried chicken, loudmouthed humourless morons, mundane lessons, rat eaten bread. Yes bread eaten by fucking rat. Mustave been a goddamn ninja one too, it avoided my chair, jumped/climbed/reppelled into the high shelf of my slightly opened locker, manouvered around my shaving cream, water bottle, wholemeal loaf and nibbled its way through all the corners of my raisin bread. I had to eat mysterious yellow pasted baos for two days. Lest you think that is hardly punishment, as Samuel kindly enlightened me; these baos, when thrown on the floor? They bounce back up. I have since confirmed this observation. Will write more soon but for now i have to go back to the LAND OF THE RAATS. GRARRH

Fuck you...

Oh this is a must see spoof...

Mann Its About Time

I used to be a fan of Natalie Portman when i was younger. First saw her in this great movie called 'Léon' and was smitten. Yes, yes, she was 12 and prancing around in her undies at one point, but i was 11 so enough with that. Anyway she grew up to be a fantastic actress. Someone told me recently that Scarlett Johansson is much better looking. I disagree. Compelling evidence at 26 seconds into this interview.




While im at the subject of fascinating females, sultry voiced Aimee Mann is coming to Singapore on the 29th of August, a Saturday night, at the Esplanade. Unless something goes horribly wrong with the world ill be going for it. Have a listen to this and you'll have a taste of why.