Going into army tomorrow. Ive heard enough about it the past year with alot of friends already in army telling stories about it. Time to get a first hand look. Dont want to over dramatize the thing but its been a reflective day. Feels like the end of another chapter. And the start of perhaps a rather dreary one. Not looking forward to it, i really enjoyed the time ive had this year, but its about time i got it done. Ill go with an open mind.
Im not usually one for any advertised sentimentality so this is an anomaly, but i feel in the mood to indulge myself. Ignore this if you get bored easily. In other words if you're like me. Anyway, been treating every day like it was precious. The past two weeks or so have probably been the best in goodness knows how long. Eating extravagantly, meeting up with friends, even some really old ones from the past which was nice, reading on occasion, running when i wanted to, sleeping when i needed to and watching football with a cold ginger beer in hand. What a time. I will miss this.
Last day today. Had chats with a couple of friends. Went jogging with one in the morning and just had a long conversation with another. I was sleeping in between so the entire day had only two events. Three if i include eating. I really admire both these individuals though, even more so after today, so it was time well spent.
It got me thinking about the past few years. Regrets and guilt usually accompany that activity. Haven't exactly murdered anyone but im certainly glad its done with. It would be prudent not to hastily label transitions as progressions but if there's a basis for hope im going to go ahead and leap ahead of myself. Remorse can aid change but when chronic, taints. Quite apart from remorse specifically but still within that sphere of emotional turmoil it seems to me that moral anguish is essential in our embracing of the world that confronts us. Beautiful in some ways, perhaps even necessary. Wish i had time to type more but i am getting tired, should get to bed soon.
Listened to interviews of Alexander Nehamas and Mark Vernon on friendship recently. Credit to them as the progenitors of some interesting reflections ive had. Its hard to overestimate the potency of the globalised spread of information. The possibilities of the people we could become are constrained by the conditions in our immediate vicinity. Those contingencies frustratingly beyond our control. When those boundaries are moved by consciously exposing ourselves to information outside those traditional confines, the possibilites of who we could become increase multifold and a greater autonomy over who we are as individuals is birthed.
This is for anyone interested in the topic of friendship thats been somewhat neglected in modern and contemporary philosophy, but seems to be making a comeback with a generally renewed interest in reflections of how we should live with the emergence of virtue ethics. Ancient philosophy clearly viewed it with serious interest. To Aristotle it was an absolutely essential ingredient to the good life and Nietsczhe held it in high regard as well. Id agree that it should be back on the terrain of philosophers again. A rough excerpt from one of the interviews that i found interesting.
Alexander Nehamas - " (On a generalized reason of why people fall out of friendship) When we see that our friends have changed, we ourselves have changed as well. So a friendship generally speaking, falls apart when the friends have gradually began to take different directions in their lives and are no longer connected in the way they have been up to that point. Its very painful sometimes to fall out of friendship. No less painful than falling out of love with someone or the other person falling out of love with you, which is often worse. The reason it is so painful is i think the following. If you stop being my friend, you both suggest to me that (a) you no longer like the person i am, which shows that if i were to ask you what did i do wrong, that would have been the wrong question to ask. Its not that i did anything wrong, its who i am that you are no longer satisfied with. But (b), it also suggests something even more painful. Namely that you no longer like the person you have become, as a result of our friendship. And that suggests that you are giving something up that i have been responsible for creating. So once again, in this context, the expression that we often use (more in situations of love than friendship but also friendship) when we say 'Its not you its me' is no consolation to the person to whom its told, because 'Its not you its me', still means its you."
Brutal stuff. I think its fairly clear our friends have an important part to play in moulding us into the people that we are. And yet a yearning for independence and a desire to be indurated from emotional hurt such as the one described, might seem to make dependency on our friends somewhat undesirable. But what else is there to fulfill that longing to know and be known, to have as Aristotle would described a friendship of excellence with both individuals satiated by each other's company regardless of the activity. Not to mention they would be able to make observations over a varied range of a behavior and this would give them priviledged position to launch an attempt into genuine empathy if not sympathy. A sentiment which i think is quite removed from romantic love or even familial love because they are more possessive, protective and consequently rather skewed in their perspectives. (Not that those qualities are necessarily bad on their own, but just not suited for that purpose.) Too sleepy to write anymore. I do feel grateful for some of the individuals i have met.
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